Boy meets Los Noches
by LHisawesome4ever
Summary: a tale of a poor soul of a green-eyed boy, left to the wolves of Las Noches. (remake of I'm a human, so why don't you kill me) an AU fanfic centered around Human! Ulquiorra
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, that's the product of Tite Kubo.

AUTHOR NOTE'S: I absolutely hated the first copy of this story so I remade it. Like a scale of 1 through 10 it was a 13! So here's me fixing a horrible excuse of a story.

 _Szayelaporro couldn't help but smile at the peace and serenity of his lab. All day, he'd been able to delve in his one true passion, experimentation. He'd successfully completed 3 transmutations, 14 new serums and 55 new thesis, he could start researching._

 _"*Haaah* perhaps mixing nitrate-chloride will give the Adjunchas chameleon-like qualities. Thus, allowing it to become a top tier predator within the Menos Forest and possibly Las Noches?" he thought out loud to himself. "Hmm, perhaps I could utilize some of the many servants we have running around…see how they squirm and distraughtly fight for their pitiful existence." A manic smile adorned his face at the thought of said people's suffering._

 _"Sounds like some cool shit."_

 _Szayelaporro slowly turned around, praying to Aizen said person wasn't in his lab. But, much to his horror it was Grimmjow. The smile instantly whipped from his face._

 _"What are you doing here!?" the pink haired scientist screeched like a banshee. Sweat gathered upon his brow, already visualizing the damage this "bull" could do to his "china shop"._

 _"Got bored," Grimmjow said as he poked the various bubbling test tubes and beakers, not fazed as the glass started to shake a little violently._

 _"If you're bored," the octava said as he slapped Grimmjow's fingers away from the precious/ delicate equipment, "Go battle Nnoitra or something! This is a LAB, not some Fun Land for you to fiddle and tinker with anything you like! I've got many dangerous chemical and experiments within this room, which are delicate as glass figurines! Hence, the reason I've set many security measures preventing ignoramuses like you from weaseling in her to- DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Szayelaporro scrambled to wrench the highly unstable, homemade nuke from Grimmjow's paws._

 _"Can't. The dick is too "busy" to spar but, probably passed out in his own vomit or some fat arrancar's sagging tities. And don't suggest anyone else, I've tried! Plus you're not really doing anything," he said, waving his hand at the work station, "don't you have ANYTHING!?" He put a face that was more fitting a moody toddler than a dangerous Espada._

 _"N-"Szayelaporro began only to stop instantly. Remembering the many times Grimmjow had received "no" as an answer, all of which resulted in destruction, death or both._

 _Think….think…_ _his golden eyes scanned his laboratory, looking for something to placate the Blue haired ruffian._

 _"Oh! How…about you…take…these?" He held out a box of harmless vials, which were equivalent to colored water. " I have no use for these useless- I mean super, duper awesome potions, which have tons of…kooky possibilities!" he finished weakly, knowing he's a ridiculously bad liar._

 _"… Kooky possibilities, huh?" Grimmjow took the box, scratching his chin in contemplation._

 _Oh thank Aizen!_ _"Yep! The possibilities are endless, now get out and experiment!" he said as he pushed the Sixth espada out of his lab._

 _ **SLAM!**_

 _The scientist let out a sigh of relief, glad to escape eminent disaster. Not knowing he, the perfect being, had made a horrid mistake._

 _"Hmmm…Phoenix? Sounds like some red-headed stripper." Grimmjow walked down one of the many corridors, having tossed the useless potions._

 _Fag thinks I can't smell the difference! The bitch's got balls._ _Grimmjow couldn't help but, be peeved at the pink haired scientist for undermining his abilities and brains._

 _Because of that, Grimmjow was out and about looking for the best possible way to cause a disaster._

 _Hmmm…maybe I could pour this on in the laundry? No, not effective. Maybe…_ _his eyes landed on Ulquiorra. The perfect blow!_

 _He handles just about everything Aizen requires, meaning removing him is equivalent to chopping off his hand! He's also an albino, depressing sack of dicks that's seen as perfect in every way._

 _He saw the Cuatro sit down and ask for a coffee, the servant readily past by him._

 _Everything's coming up Grimmjow!_

 _Before the servant could deliver the steaming cup o Joe, he grabbed it by its ponytail._

 _"Don't scream or you die," he waited to receive a nod before continuing," you're going to give this to him. No question asked. And acting like nothing happened." Grimmjow said as he poured Phoenix into the coffee._

 _"Now, if he suspects something and doesn't drink it…well, you don't want to know what'll happen." He released the frightened arrancar, which quickly followed out its new orders._

 _Although it took what seemed a millennium, bat boy drank the coffee! Grimmjow couldn't stop his happy dance, not caring if the vial did absolutely nothing, just knowing the Fourth had fallen for his plan was enough payment._

 _Now, we wait for the shitstorm to hit and may it hit hard!_

 _Grimmjow turned around and head off to see whether Nnoitra was coherent enough for a fist fight._

 _Ulquiorra quickly walked down the halls, feeling as if a nuke had been dropped in his lower intestines._

 _What could possibly be wrong? I haven't changed anything within my retinue nor anything in my diet…or have I?_ _Ulquiorra quickly braced himself with one of the many columns lining the hallway._

 _With every step his eyes were getting heavier and heavier, til he could barely hold his lid open for several seconds at a time._

 _Soon the usually high-strung Espada was slouched against the wall, dazed and confused like a stoned college kid. His thought running rapid in his head, which seemed to have become more crowded than a Japanese Subway train._

 _M-m-may…be oNe Nap wOuLd Be…O…k?_

 _His thoughts were becoming slushy and his voice sounded warped beyond recognition._

 _Before he knew what was what, he was out like a light._

 _Gin let out a sigh of complete and utter boredom, as he toyed with the halls of the castle for what seemed the millionth time._

 _"Aizen's busy…Tosen's blander than watching paint dry…Stark's asleep…Nnoitra's unconscious…Grimmjow's in the infirmary…Harribel won't react to any of my jokes…Yammy's too easy…Zommari and AA freak_ _ **me**_ _out…and Ulquiorra's passed out and shrinking…"_

 _Gin stopped flipping through the survallence cameras long enough for his in to process his sentence._

 _Ulquiorra's shrinking?!_

 _He cut back to camera 4 and leaned in extremely close to the screen, going as far as to open his eyes for once. But, no he was mistaken. Ulquiorra wasn't shrinking he was-!_

 _"Providing me with the greatest opportunity for fun possible." The fox-faced captain said with an impossibly big grin upon his face._

 _"Hmm…how to handle this? Be responsible and take care of a fallen comrade? Or have fun? Be a good, and caring general…on the other hand, I could've fun?" Gin held his hands in a scale fashion, tilting each hand up and down. Weighing each options consequences, merits and net profit (?) til he finally decided._

 _He grabbed the surveillance room mic and did what any rational being would do._

 _" Hello, kitchen? I'm going to need ya'll to whip up a cake! Yes, a cake...how big? Enough for all the Espada...every flavor…Great, bye-bye!" *click*_

 _"Now…let go get the belle of the ball!" Gin said, as he went to collect Ulquiorra. The man so happy he skipped the whole way._

 _"Why the fuck are we having a meeting so late?!" Nnoitra sat down with an angry plunk._

 _"Yeah, not to be disrespectful and what not but, what's the deal Aizen-sama?" Stark said as he tried staying up, his eye rubbing doing nothing in de-blurring his vision._

 _"Patience my espada. All shall be revealed to us by Gin." Aizen said calmly, secretly peeved at being left in the dark about whatever going on._

 _"Great…that fucker could be up to anything! Cakes here as an apology for some shit he did in the past…cake has to be code for something!" Grimmjow said as he slid his chair further away from the giant pastry._

 _"Glad to see ya'll came!" Gin said as he arrived, the arm he held behind his back seemed to have a mind of its own._

 _"Gin, I know you're…an eccentric person but, please tell me you have a valid reason for impeding upon our sleep?" Aizen said as his reishi rose proportionally, basically screaming," If not, your ass is dead."_

 _"Aizen-sama, I'd be careful…we wouldn't want to hurt the lil' guy, would we?" he said side stepping to reveal a boy with emerald-green eyes._

To Be Continued….


	2. Introductions and threats: perfect combo

**Author note: Yeah, so family problems are still prominent...but, my cousin was found but he tried to OD, but he's safe...but refusing treatment...SO! Writings really takes stress off and I'll try to update as much as fast. Like stated previously the chapters are coming and Summer for college students is close!**

 **Warning: foul language and derogatory terminology I do not agree with...it's all what I think the characters would say and act like.**

****=flash backs

italics =thoughts

* * *

All eyes honed in on the anomaly that Gin was dragging behind him.

It was a young boy with large, innocent, emerald green eyes that shown only terror and confusion, which would be understandable seeing as he was surrounded by 12 very imposing unknown figures, one dragging him into possible certain doom.

The boy looked absolutely comical as his clothes blanketed his body, looking like a child playing dress up with his father's clothing. The boy attempting and failing to break Gin's iron grip upon his wrist, digging his socked feet across the white floor having lost his sandals along his march towards certain doom (well, more like drag towards doom). One hand holding up his hakama while his top's unzipped collar showing he was missing his iconic hollow hole at the base of his throat. His messy, short, midnight black hair was speckled with white dust and bone fragments where his half helmet formerly resided.

The boy's alabaster skin seemed to ashen to a sickly white the closer they got towards the table till he resembled his formerself's complection with a tint of green, his thick eyebrows scrunched up as he began to nervously sweat. Gin, savoring both party's reactions plunked the young boy in the seat beside Stark, making sure to scooch his chair a bit closer to Aizen, whom still had yet to say a word upon the situation.

Now seated the boy's trembling became more apparent as he seemed to scrunch up, trying to be as small as possible. A resounding gasp seemed to echo in the meeting room as the boy's jacket slunk down revealing on his left pec was a faded gothic four. The tattoo's appearance only seemed to further stress the awkward situation.

"I'd like to introduce y'all to my new bestie, Ulqui-kun!" Gin said as he smushed the terrified teen towards himt, his cheek resting on his head as Ulquiorra was pressed against his chest.

"Lil' guy was adamant on mee-"Gin. Tousen. Follow me, we have much to talk about. Our "guest" is not to be harmed in anyway until I return with my decision." Aizen said,interrupting Gin midjoke his voice supremely calm, despite what was taken place right before him.

The two second in command followed after their curly-haired dictator after Aizen had given Ulquiorra a smile and a pat on his head. Both actions doing all but reassure the terrified boy.

The klack of the three general's waraji echoed through the utterly silent room the only thing louder being the door closing behind them, sealing the human boy's fate. Gin mockingly blew him a kiss like a mother leaving their child at school, instead of with bloodthirsty soul-eating monsters.

The room was so silent one could've clearly heard a grain of sand hit the floor.

…

"GAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!" Grimmjow cackled loudly, his fist banging on the table so aggressively while one hand combed through his hair, grasping sky-blue strains as he laid his head on the tabletop gasping for air.

"This is...interesting to say in the least." stark slowly drawled out, glancing at the boy who had taken to making sure he was the furthest away from the still cackling blue haired maniac, while still remaining seated.

"So, this is your doing Szayelaporro?" Harribel's cool voice stated trying to blocking out Grimmjow's neverending continual laughter in the background.

"Me?!" the Octava Espada said shocked the bizarre occurrence was his fault, despite knowing this was the result of one of his millions experimentations.

"Well, duh! Who else has scientific shit that'll do that? Cause it ain't any of the other dumbasses here?" Nnoitra said not removing his gaze from Ulquiorra, his sneer sharpening at the weak creature the fourth had been rendered to.

"Wait, that's Ulquiorra?" Yammy dumbly said, flicking the bugger he'd been picking at the wall behind him.

"No, lardass it's Tousen's long lost, albino bastard son. OF COURSE THAT'S ULQUIORRA! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, SHUT THE FUCK UP SEXTA!" Nnoitra snapped, muttering about inbreeding and Aizen's choice in warriors being worse than that of a woman's.

"I didn't do it! I was in my laboratory all day, knee deep in the perfection of a new formula to make me more perfect than I am already! Hell, the only time I took a break was when...GRIMMJOW WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TAKE FROM MY LAB?!" Szayelaporro screeched as he finished connecting the dots in the mystery of who'd done it.

"I- HAHA! I...I took one of the bottles of your shelf while leaving after you tried duping me with dud potions! If I wanted colored water I would've played with my own piss, yah pink fag!" Grimmjow said, flipping off the four-eyed man, "But DAMN! I didn't think it'd have such an effect on the almighty fourth! I mean, LOOK AT HIM!" Grimmjow jabbed his finger in the fourth's face, "he's so...so weak and scrawny! Like damn! I've heard of anorexic but, this is just too much! Kid looks like he's close to pissing himself in fear any moment now!"

"Yeah, he does look like a subservient lil' bitch...well, more so now than he originally did. I'm going to enjoy being the fourth after I be-head your snow-white ass!" Nnoitra began reaching for his weapon, eyes locked on the trembling boy.

"Aizen-sama, stated so beautifully we are not to harm our "guest". How about you act worthy of your position in power and think before acting." Zommari said, his eyes closed in meditation.

"The hell you just say, asshole?! I could murder you on the spot Septima! Don't think I won't!" the barbaric Fifth threatened.

"What does this mean for all those assignments and extra duties Ulquiorra originally held because I'm not wasting my time or my fracción on Aizen's needs...being the king as we all know." the Baraggan said to noone in particular.

"Better question being did that potion leave the drinker mute? Perhaps the Fourth would chime in, give us some insight on how you became like this Ulquiorra?" Harribel said in a gentler tone, hoping to calm the boy a bit as his heartbeat had gotten so loud it was audible to her ears.

All eyes shot back to Ulquiorra, the timid creature flinching at the 16 eyes honed on him. The boy slugglishy processing the words, blinking in what seems the first time since enter the room, yet still looking like a terrified fawn.

"U...um...I-I-I...I'm sorry! I r-really don't know or understand what's going on!" a not soprano yet not the usual heavy baritone voice rang out from Ulquiorra. Whom took to looking at the marble countertop of the desk, not able to look anyone of them in their eyes. "I...I just appeared here! I didn't mean to! Please believe me miss...miss...What's your name?"

The room once again became deathly quiet, the Espada shooting each other glances having a silent conversation unbeknownst to the human boy. Ulquiorra continued glancing at the table, too self conscious and scared to see their pointed stares. Ulquiorra couldn't help thinking back on how this all began, how in just a few minutes his life had been uprooted.

* * *

My eyes open to find I'm no longer in my AP Math class, listening to the teacher drone on and on about imaginary numbers and how important the concept is for the one or two jobs that actually use said calculations. No, Instead I'm in a completely stark white hallway with every few feet (or so) an archway. I tilt my head left and right, my head throbbing with what must be a migraine.

 **CRASH!**

I whip my head to and fro looking for who caused the sudden commotion only to find it wasn't someone, but something. Looking down to my left I saw the sound had stemmed from some shogun-like skeletal, helmet hitting the floor and smashing into literally dust. The pieces disintegrating in my hand no matter how light the touch was, making any attempt at gathering the pieces futile.

After a long debate of back and forth, weighing the various pros and cons or either staying where I am or investigating the strange catacombs I'd been randomly and spontaneously dumped in. The later choice ultimately wins and I'm off to get some semblance of where the hell I could be.

…

 _Okay. have I been down this hallway or...no, this had to be new, right? Who the hell makes everything the same shade of fucking white!_

I grip my hair in frustration as when I turn the corner I see the sandal I'd dropped earlier.

"I've gone in a circle, haven't I?" I mummer while dragging my hands down my face in pure frustration, as I stomp over to the piece of footwear, almost face planting for the 17th consecutive time because of my stupid oversized clothes.

"GRRRRAAAH!" I hurl the shoe down the hall before slumping down, my forehead resting upon my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs, letting the true gravity of the situation sunk in.

 _I'm tired. I haven't a single clue where I am and I just want to go home._

 **Clack...clack...clack**

A sudden chill ran up my spine at the sound of sudden footsteps, feeling like my day was going to go from bad to worst in T-minus 5...4...3...2…

"Well hello there, lil' guy. What're you doing out here, all alone?"

My blood runs cold from just hearing the mysterious yet friendly voice for some inane reason, my head refusing to turn toward whomever was trying to talk to me despite my brain commanding it to. I whip my body around superfast, hoping to catch the stranger off guard...only to find no one's there.

"Wow. a lil' jumpy aren't we now? You'd better calm down, unless you want to attract some more "friends", you lil' faucet of reiryoku, you."

I slowly turn to come face to face with a fox-faced man doned all in white smiling at me so hard his eyes were slits. Alarm bells spring to life in my mind, blaring loud and clear that this is a person I should stay as far away from as possible.

"Ahhh, what's wrong? Are ya' sick? Sore throat makin' you unable to talk to your good ol' pal, Gin Ichimaru? Well, shucks…" the silver haired man, whom apparently is named Gin, said with a pout.

Before I can even open my mouth to speak he's was yanking me to my feet, an iron grasp upon my wrist as he drags me down the hallway, "I know! I'll take ya' to see Pinky, our handy dandy doctor, won't that be fun? In fact! Let's go meet the whole gang while we're at it? they're quite the welcoming bunch, if I do say so myself!" Gin says in a sort of singsong way, picking up the pace despite me already struggling to keep up.

 **~Moments later~**

He skids to a halt in front of two gigantic white doors, that looked to weigh a thousand pounds each yet Gin flings them open like they're made of paper.

" _Something tells me he isn't human…"_

Before I can object he's dragging me into some room that appears to be for meetings or briefings, in it are 12 very imposing figures staring right at me.

Despite being completely different in looks size and generally demeanors, they had to be related or "batting for the same team" as they are all sporting the same white clothing and some sort of bone-like feature upon their bodies. Well, at least 5 of them were from what I could see.

The first one to catch my attention was a muscular man with blue hair that was the color of blueberry cotton candy, the type you get at the carnival. Glued to the right side of his jaw was a bone fragment that looked to be made of the same substance of that helmet I broke, right before being brought to this room of death. A constant storm of rage seemed to boil in his sky blue eyes as he furrowed his brow trying to understand exactly what he was looking at as he stared at me.

To the left of him was what looked to be a punk rocker turn Buddhist or something along the lines of that as his white Mohawk and piercings seemed to imply he had a dark side before finding the cult that seems to control this white Hell.

Besides him had to be the man Gin was talking about as he had the brightest pink hair I'd ever seen! That paired with some glasses, making him look the most like a doctor out of the whole lot of them. Like the others he had an expression of surprise yet in it was a tinge of guilt like this was his doing somehow.

Next to Pinky was the eldest of the whole group, upon his face a bushy Yosemite Sam, white mustache and thick white eyebrows. The most noticeable feature being the thick scars running over his wrinkled face from what I could see as the man instantly turned back towards the table. Supposedly to say that he didn't deem me worthy of his glance let alone his consideration.

At the end of the table was a mammoth of a man picking his nose with his pinky as he rested his elbow on the table. Strangely, the oddest thing about the dude wasn't his size or the the bone piece running along his jaw; no, it was what looked to be a hole in the center of the sternum! In fact, the angry bluenette had a similar thing except in the center of his torso!

 _I think I'm going to be sick..._

To the side of him was what looked like a human Pez dispenser hybrid dressed in Mozart like clothing. That would sum up whatever or whomever I was looking at.

 _I don't want to know what's behind that mask...helmet...thing._

Well, it's a good thing to know they're not sexist as I saw a beautiful caramel-skinned, blonde woman with chilling eyes. Wearing quite the oddly designed top which barely covered her well endowedness. I felt my cheeks redden as I struggled to direct my gaze towards the other occupants in the room. (So, Sue me I'm a normal teen boy!)

Beside her was a gangly mantis-looking man with leery eyes or eye seeing as he was wearing an eyepatch. Who seem to have a fetish for cutlery as his clothing look to be the costume for a mascot that's a spoon. it was so comical I could almost laugh but his whole demeanor screamed "laugh and you died."

Though that scary demeanor sorta wilted due to who he was sitting by. Out of all them, he seemed like the most approachable one or the most likely to not attack me at any second. Looking like the typical stoner in college or some sort of surfer.

Despite all the danger and animosity radiating off these individuals was dwarfed...no, swallowed by the aura radiating from the thing sitting at the head of the table. If perfection or nightmare was made in the mold of a man, you'd get whomever sat in that throne. The man hadn't done anything yet, his presence was poison that screamed treachery and manipulation was the only game he played, the pawns people's lives and dreams, and he played to win no matter what the cost. Such a flawless exterior, yet a disgustingly twisted and sullied interior. He wasn't a wolf in sheep's clothing no...he was a dragon in sheep's' clothing.

I physically and mentally freeze up, to terrified to move and seeing the wide grin upon Gin's face, he knew exactly what I was feeling and he was loving it. That's all I remember up until the blond haired, high-collared woman addressed me, my mind and body shutting down as fear finally drowned it.

Something I've always struggled with as since I was born. Too much of something and *BANG!* off to la la Land...well, that's what the doctors said. _I needed to get out of here! Find a safe, quiet space! Shit! What did I say...I rather have them speaking then all these knowing looks._

I can feel another spell coming as the silence stretched longer in the previously deafeningly loud room and the longer knowing glances switched back and forth between his captors.

"Can I please go home!" I blurt out (or squeak out is more like it)

"But, you are home, Ulquiorra." a calm voice rung out, I feel my heart sink into my stomach, the feeling getting stronger as I feel their leader seamlessly scoop me up. Only to sit down with me now on his lap like Santa. "Tell me Ulquiorra, what do you remember? Do you know where you are? Who we are?" Aizen said smoothly,

"Ah...no wonder you're so scared. I'll leave it to them to explain all this" Aizen chuckled as Ulquiorra flinched a bit.

"But, know you're perfectly safe and will remain that way until this "mishap" is fixed. I've made my final decision upon this and seeing as you're too much of an asset as a subordinate and warrior...in your "normal" form. That being said, I'm leaving you as the Fourth Espada, that's final but, some like to disregard my orders" he said this as his eyes shot to the Blue-haired ruffian and spoon, " I'll leave you in the capable hands of some selected servants I ma-"

"Uh, Aizen-sama? May I make a suggestion or minor tweak to the original plan?" Gin said, dangerously interrupting Aizen, Ulquiorra felt his chest strain as a sudden spike in pressure seemed to happen.

"Yes...Ichimaru? What, would you like to suggest?"

"Well, I think instead of some lousy Arrancar we leave him with the ever capable Espada? They'd perfectly guard em' and I believe they all share some blame in this current coinkydink were in, right? And this would strengthen the family bond we have in our lil' home with a shared responsibility. If one of em' fails...well they all fail." Gin said as he leaned over the table making a sweeping motion towards the 9 Arrancars, " You reap what you sow."

"...this is why I pick you and Tousen, Gin. Always bettering my plans when I least expect it. Yes, I agree. Szayelaporro, your one and only objective now is getting Ulquiorra back to normal, while the rest of you will make sure Ulquiorra is safe and well while he's in this condition, making sure his needs are met...or else."

"Wait! Sir, not to question your judgement in any way but, are...are we babysitting him? Like...feed and whatever else humans need or do?" Stark braved, though already having a idea what the answer was.

"Ooooh! That's even better! Thanks Starkey, I'll make sure to tell any and all servants all his needs are you guy's responsibility." Gin pulled a cookbook out of nowhere from his sleeve and slid it in front of the baffled Primavera, while the other 8 glared at him.

"Thank you, Gin. Now, being the fair god I am, I'll let you all decide upon the order of responsibility. I must now find substitutes for the many tasks delegated to my Cuatra Espada." Aizen said as He plunked Ulquiorra down on his throne, another ruffleing of his hair before disappearing, Tosen close behind him.

"Uncle Gin has to go, but you all understand that if you fail, you won't be demoted, you'll be humiliated and executed...painfully." Gins eyes opened, causing all the Espada to cringe in fear, "take care of my precious Ulqui-kun! TOOTLES!" Gin ruffled Ulquiorra's hair aggressively before picking him up and placing him in the center of table, like a human centerpiece.

 ***slam***

All was silent again, none really knowing what to say or even do. After what seemed like a millennium the silence was interrupted by Stark looking through the cook book gifted to him,

"Wait...the hell is water?

 _We're going to die_.

 **To be continued….**


	3. Chapter 3: Starrk steps up to the plate

Author's Note: okay, so soon summer will be here and i'll probably have more updates and time...because I already have like 3 additional ones in my head...most may pertain to Bleach but...who knows. I REALLY LIKE CROSSOVERS and the espada.

italics= thoughts

bold=flashback

bold/italized= dream

Well, at least he'll be well rested...right?

Starrk for the first time since coming under Aizen's command felt self-conscience. His face flushing a bit as everyone blatantly stared at them, no one even making the tiniest bit of effort to hide it but he couldn't really blame them. Seeing as there was an unconscious human boy in three sizes too big clothing carried bridal-style in one of their top 10...well 9 now, general's arms.

Hah...you'd think Aizen was doing this for shits and giggles.

Starrk thought dragged back to the disastrous impromptu planning session

* * *

 **"Sooo...what...what do we do?" I said, scratching my head as this book continued to confuse me, occasionally glancing up from the book to Ulquiorra, whom still sat frozen in the center of the table like a dog in a show.**

 **"Hmph! Aizen thinks I'm just going to roll over and take care of this meal on legs? I won't waste my time watching that," Barragan said jabbing a finger at Ulquiorra," I'm the Segunda Espada and the King of Hueco Mundo, I don't and won't babysit."**

 **"Get over it, drop him off with that fugly tranny, Charlotte, he'd love to watch him. Hell Tesla going to be watching him while I fuck some bitches, right Harribel?" Nnoitra loudly cussed as Harribel slammed a fist into his gut.**

 **"Lord Aizen's specifically said we are to watch Ulquiorra-sa...Ulquiorra-kun and hence that's what we shall do. If he wills it then we shall do it!" Zommari said with absolution.**

 **"Fuck that! Grimmjow's the blue-haired fuck up that caused this! He should do it!" Yammy, gruffly said, resuming his disgusting nose picking.**

 **"The fuck you say, Decima? You're just pissed you can't follow Ulquiwhora around trying to jump his dick when we all know he only tolerates you because Aizen says so! Hell, you should thank me! Now, you finally have him looking to you for help and can command him to do your will. Fuck the kid's so weak you could make him suck your dick for protection, ain't that right pretty lips." Grimmjow said as he leaned closer to Ulquiorra, the poor kid's cheeks burning a cheery red as he frantically fiddled with his oversized jacket.**

 **"Grimmjow, must you prove how much of a degenerate you are to the kid, besides if anyone wanted to jump Ulquiorra's white ass it's you." Szayelaporro murmured, his elegant fingers massaging his forehead.**

 **"The fuck you just say, Szayelaporro!?"**

 **Here we go again…**

 **"Just saying you constant demands for him to fight you? to whip out his sword? For him to finally exert himself and push himself when "fighting" you " Szayelaporro said making air quotation with his hands when saying fight.**

 **Grimmjow's chair was flung backwards, so forcefully the chair became embedded in the back wall. "take that back before I blast your heavily fisted ass to a new hell, you fuscia-haired glasses wearing buttfucker!"**

 **His body vibrating as he raised his reiatsu as high as his anger was.**

 **"CALM YOUR ASS DOWN, SEXTA! You've screwed us over enough already with Ulquiorra! You're not killing the only one to fix your bullshit!" Nnoitra said as his chair went flying also, his palms imprinted in the now cracking table with how hard he'd pushed himself to his feet.**

 **"how could you not make a antidote, aren't you "perfect"?" Barragan said harshly**

 **"I'm hungry when's dinner?"**

 **"It was a failure! I was still hashing it out."**

 **"Well, make one!"**

 **"It's not easy! Scientific formulas can't just be pulled out my ass and work perfectly!"**

 **"I think it's at 8 pm."**

 **"I AIN'T GOT TO DO SHIT! YOU'RE NOT THE FUCKIN BOSS OF ME!"**

 **"BITCH, I'M RANKED HIGHER THAN YOUR FURRY-ASS! SIT DOWN SO WE CAN DECIDE WHO'S DEALING WITH THAT ALBINO MISTAKE FIRST!"**

 **"What's the order in which we watch him?"**

 **And once again we're left to our own devices and not even 5 minutes and Nnoitra and Grimmjow are having a Dick measuring contest when we all know they won't do anything, except ruin their chairs. Of course Barragan's not wanting to do shit and talking a if 700 years haven't passed since his usurpal. Yammy asking when we're eating, like he doesn't have that down to the very second.**

 **My eyes rack across the table and see Zommari meditating...like always, Harribel silently plotting all our deaths and Ulquiorra suffocating….**

 **Wait...what?**

 **My eyes dart back to Ulquiorra, his pale skin taking on a purple tinge as he seemed to be sweating buckets. Everyone so unaware that any outsider would think we were blatantly ignoring the kid's frantic clawing at his throat.**

 **"STOP!" I yell out causing the room to become completely silent for the fourth time in a day, "I'll watch him first and then we'll come back tomorrow and decide upon the order! Giving you fuckers a day to inform your fracción on the job we've been dropped with! GOT IT?" I say in the most threatening tone I can, having never really ever done such.**

 **"wha-Wait! Who made you boss?" Nnoitra said indignantly**

 **"You wanna make the rules, fight me. No? That's what I thought."**

 **Asshole…**

 **I scoop up the unconscious human, struggling a bit seeing as he was completely limp.**

* * *

"So, taking charge for once?" a calm voice said, dragging me from my thoughts.

"Hello, Harribel. Thought you like when I abuse my rank, think its sexy?" I smirk suggestively before becoming serious again,"So, what's your take upon the task we've been "graciously" given to us?"

"I think he wants us to fail so he can punish us without it being swayed by emotion. He can't really expect beings that are the embodiments of death aspects to take care of a HUMAN child? Let alone, in a land littered with a population that eats humans as a primary food source. But, then again Ulquiorra was always his favorite...he barely withheld the anger in his voice." she said after being silent for several seconds.

"Eh...guess that means we'll seemingly be working "overtime" watching him?" I say with a smile, shifting so Ulquiorra's head is in the crock of my neck. Wouldn't want him waking up with a crick in his neck.

I stop walking seeing Harribel is no longer by my side. looking back I see her standing still as if contemplating something.

"What?"

"Don't get attached Starrk,that's not another Lilinette. It's Ulquiorra, the fourth Espada, an emotionless, sociopathic killing machine." a sympathetic look in her eyes as she stated her thoughts.

"I-I I know that! I'm...just making sure I'm not punished! No alternative motives or thoughts upon this situation!" I frantically wave my hands, the movement getting a disgruntled murmur from Ulquiorra, him shifting slightly.

So he is alive? Good..

I comb my fingers through his hair, seeming to do the trick of stopping whatever was distressing him in his sleep.

Harribel looked at me, her eyebrow raised and a looked that seemed to say, "told ya so."

"This is Ulquiorra...this is Ulquiorra…" I walk off, not sure if I was saying it to her or for myself.

 _ **They're are getting bigger?! I stop drawing as I stare at the sizeable monster across from me hiding in the trees yet, getting closer by the second.**_

 _ **Maybe I should -NO! Remember what said, "they're figments of my imagination. They're aren't real or-""Hey, freak!"**_

 _ **Derek…**_

 _ **I wipe around to see Derek Moser, the biggest butt head on planet earth. Walking around like he owns the world because he's the only kid in 4th grade with a iPhone.**_

 _ **I hate everything about him, from his stupid blond fohawk with short sides, his dumb shark tank top, his dumb Nike shorts. Heck, I hate the stupid smirk he gets when he thinks he's said something clever (which never truly is)**_

 _ **Combine that with the arrogance and his mouthy sidekicks that look like they haven't had an original thought in their 9 years of lives and I can already feel my blood boil.**_

 _ **"What're you looking at? OH GOSH!? is there a "monster" behind me!? EEEEK! Hahahahah!" he tauntingly shouted making absolutely sure everyone heard his generic joke (and that's being generous) screamed, making sure everyone heard his stupid, unoriginal quip. His goon squad over the top laughing grating in my ears.**_

 _ **"Don't you have a game of Four Square to be playing." I say bored as I sketch the black abomination in front of me.**_

 _ **"What are you even drawing...is that that weird junk you're always lying about seeing?"**_

 _ **Okay, that struck a nerve.**_

 _ **"I'M NOT LYING!THEY ARE THERE! YOU'RE JUST TOO DUMB TO SEE THEM! YOU I-GIVE THAT BACK!"**_

 _ **Usually I'd just ignore the childish tactics of keep away and wait until my lack of reaction would make them move onto a new victim, but today wasn't one of those days. today, I had a headache, the cafeteria hadn't had good pizza, the monsters were getting bigger and more destructive, and I'd missed the newest episode of Pokemon AND now this booger-eating idiot was touching my beloved sketchbook.**_

 _ **I grab his shirt yanking as I reach desperately for my sketchbook as the kids seemed to form a circle around us, enjoying the "show" going on.**_

 _ **"Hey! I'm just trying to see it!" he shoves me to the dirt and I hear the ripping of paper.**_

 _ **I blackout after that, seeing nothing but red only coming back when two of us are being pulled apart by several teachers.**_

My head throbs painfully, like I'd been decked with a brick and my chest feels heavy

"Ermm...ahhhh.."

"Hey Starrk, I think he's waking up? Hey! Are you okay!? I swear you were dead."

A young girl's voice broke though the mucky haze encapsulating my mind at the moment.

I wake up to the face of a pink eyed, little girl with light green hair, so close her nose is smushed up against mine.

"GAAH!" I buck up, sending her off my chest and to the ground with a hearty thud, the girl voicing her displeasure with a lot of profanity.

"Man! Ulquiorra why the hell did ya do that for!?" she rubs her head...or the second skull she has adorn her head while rubbing her butt.

I quickly shuffle back till I'm smushed up against the arm of the sofa, my rapidly scanning the room for information but more importantly an exit.

My surrounding having changed again, as I was no longer in the tension filled meeting boardroom but instead I found myself in some sort of family room. From what I could see from the comfy type of couch I woke up on, in front of me was a coffee table which housed 3 baskets underneath it with various things like notebooks, cords, and different controllers. Which obviously hooked up to the various gamestations resting on the tv shelf in the front of the room upon which is housed an amazing 76' inch tv. In any other situation I'd be happy in the room, with its light yellow walls and litany of plush looking pillows that screamed "we are fricking soft and comfy as shit!" but, now alarm bells were ringing all throughout my head as my heart pumped like crazy.

Why am I still here? Why aren't I back at Mom and I's apartment?!

Worry seems to fill her previously irritated as she leans closer to me approaching me like I was a wounded animal, which was more fitting a comparison than I would've liked. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you…" she slowly raises her hand toward me, it doing the exact opposite of comforting me as I can a perfect circle in her stomach!

 _Just like the monsters._

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I slap her hand away, my voice cracking at how loud I scream out the demand. The thumping in my ear get worse as I see another person, a man, stare at me from the far right doorway, obviously having been drawn by my spontaneous screech. I start to sweat my eyes honing on what had to be the exit and quickly make a bolt for an exit, my ill-fitting shoes slapping along the beigh flooring as i make a break for it.

"WAIT! STARRK!"

Favor must be on my side as I avoid tripping and make it to the door lickittysplit. However, just as I'm reaching for the handle I feel myself being lifted from behind, hoisted into the air with slim, muscular arms wrapped around my stomach.

"WOAH! CALM DOWN! Calm down man. We're not going to hurt you! Okay." I heard through the chaotic scramble of thoughts and emotions.

I wriggle and wrench trying to escape, my nails clawing and pounding at the arms holding me captive. I flail like a fish out of water or a really pissed off cat, desperate to get free and trying everything to achieve it.

"PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN, NOW!..huff...I'll stay here just please put me down." I say, submitting after several minutes of frantic yet fruitless struggling and screaming, my voice gruff and scraggly sounding. As soon as the guy drops me I zip to the nearest corner, my back hitting the wall painfully but, I don't care. Rather ache but know I'm making sure that way they can't get behind me, without me noticing.

I glare at the two taking their appearance in fully for the first time since waking up on the couch. as I glare at them I hope showed how untrusting of them.

They were an odd couple to say the least, cause if these two were siblings I'm not buying it, maybe dad and daughter...maybe cousins. I'm going to go with Uncle, twice removed, and adopted niece of long distance brother.

When I first saw the dude from afar I said he looked like a stoner, up close I'm now absolutely certain he was a stoner. With his wavy, unkempt hair, faded goatee, and permanent sleepy eyes it was hard not to see someone whose in love with Mary Jane. He had what looked like "my" uniform, or maybe a different version as his lacked the long coattails. His version of the uniform was outlined in black and had a higher collar and gloves. He really looked like any average Joe if you excluded the clothing and what looked like the lower half of a dog's jaws around his throat.

The girl however wore an outfit that left little to the imagination as if it was on a mission to show as much skin yet, still classifying as clothing. Wearing only arm-warmers, pants (that were more like panties) with a line running down the middle, and the most revealing vest on a pre-teen ever. Heck, the only warm looking thing on her were the extremely out of season fur-lined boots! Though most wouldn't be focused on her outfit considering she had a damaged two horned helmet on that obscured an entire eye and A FUCKING HOLE IN THE CENTER OF HER STOMACH! There's a sparklingly look in her eye, her obviously expecting something akin to a friendship between her and I, which is both funny and sad at the same time.

We sit in silence the two shifting on their feet like two guilty children whom were caught with there hands in the cookie jar, Surfer dude rubbing his neck while looking for something to say in this situation.

"W-who a-a-are you? An-and where t-t-the FUCK AM I!?" I say boldly, despite my hands still shaking and teeth chattering .

Both jump, not expecting me to screech at either of them.

"OH! You're in the First tower of Las Noches,in the care of the Primera Espada of Aizen-sama's army." the Lilynette said, excited that I was talking to her instead of running.

I must have made quite the deadpan look as the girl elbowed the man in the gut, gesturing to me with a hand, obviously not sure how to explain the situation.

"OH! Um, I'm Coyote Starrk and this is Lilynette Gingerbuck," he said motioning between each other," And we're your...caretakers while you are here...well for today not permanent as far as we know." he paused and held a hand out to shake, waiting for me to return the gesture which he wasn't getting even if he offered me a million dollars. "Okay" he clapped, "You're scared which is warranted if I was dropped here, BUT, like said before we're the Primera Espada, the highest ranking Espada, so you're in good hands while in Hueco Mundo!

"...Where in the world is Hueco Mundo?" I wave my hands around, still making sure I'm still deep in the corner.

Lilynette quickly spoke up," Well, it's not… in the world you might be familiar with...well, your world is connected with this world, which is where you are...where WE are, BUT it is, but isn't at the same time." she said, confusingly as if trying to explain is water wet or something equally as confusing.

I looked to the other for some sort of clarification.

"Well…"

* * *

He hasn't moved since you spilled the beans Starrk!" Lilynette whisper-screamed at me as we both peeked around the corner. Ulquiorra still hunched over with his head on his knees, his body shuddering occasionally like he had been for some 45 minutes or more since my explanation.

"I swore I'd tell him everything! If I lied then we'd have an even more difficult time with him. I didn't know It'd be this bad." I said rubbing my neck having done so so much in one day the skin on the back of my neck was turning a rashy red.

"I think you scared him even more! What did you think would happen!? Oh, well you're just in the land of the dead surrounded by soul eating monsters, the idle vacation spot!" Lilynette said in a horrible imitation of my voice.

"Well, what do we do now, talk to him?" this is too much, I rather be asleep..

"Talking made him like that in the first place, yah idiot! Literally no tact whatsoever!"

 **Knock knock knock!**

The sudden banging drag both our eyes to the door, seeing as I wasn't expecting any visitors. My hand instinctively goes to my sword, in case its anyone looking for a quick meal. However, the instant I twist the knob the door goes slamming into my face, HARD.

 **BANG!**

"GAHHHHHHH!"

"Starrk, isn't it a little dangerous to be sleeping on the job? Hi Lilynette, how's your day today?"

 _Gin._

I rub my nose, checking several times to make sure the white-haired weasel didn't break my nose or if I'm bleeding. How I hate that man with a passion sometimes.

"Well I won't keep you seeing as y'all are having an already amazing time bonding from what I can see...BUUUUUUT! Ding, Ding, DING! Special delivery for Ulqui." Gin said as he plopped a package down on Ulquiorra's prone head as the boy seemed to make no effort to lift his head. Still catatonic in a way.

"Well, open it...the servants work hard on it!" Gin said nudging and prodding the frozen fourth. A tiny chuckle escaping me as Ulquiorra didn't react to his pestering in any shape or form.

Releasing a sigh, he grabbed the collar Ulquiorra's oversized jacket, hefting the boy up by the jacket's collar similar to what a cat does with it's misbehaving kittens.

"Well, go try it on!" Gin said hustling/dragging Ulquiorra towards the bathroom, pushing him in and sliding the gift in like a shot put.

"Um, ho-" "Aizen said make sure one of you take him to Szayel tomorrow, make sure he gets all his necessaries shots and a lollipop! " Gin said pulling a lollipop out of his sleeve, I swear that man is faster than Zommari because he did that in like three seconds!

Sigh, more work...less and less sleep.

* * *

"Ow!" I land with a thud on the tiled floor of the bathroom I'd suddenly been pushed into a relatively small bathroom. The thing consisting of all the usual things in a bathroom besides having a larger counter and mirror than one tends to and lacking a tub. All of it being the oh so wonderful combination of white and black! I let a sigh as I blow a lock of hair out of my face, i need to get this cut, I look around till my eyes land on the package by foot.

I cautiously open it to see a note on top reading: 'Hiiiiiii! Ulqui-poo, Uncle Aizen thought you'd be more comfy in these! XOXOXOX- Uncle Gin'

I'd roll my eyes if I didn't see who'd sent this. So, Aizen's his name...looks like Josh Groban's evil twin...the mere thought of his hand ruffling my hair sent a shiver down my spine.

"Ugh...Guess I don't have a choice, the pattern of everything around here that involves me." I say begrudgingly to myself as I done the new outfit gifted to me.

* * *

Well, I can't really find this so much of a punishment as I further examine how good I look in the clothing. The pants being a pair of white skinny jeans that fit like a dream and the plaid green/blue Converse High Tops with black and red striped laces were my type of preferred footwear.

I began to pull off the oversized jacket I'd woken up in but stopped at what I saw in the mirror, through the head hole.

"Wha?" I mutter as I inch closer to the mirror dropping the jacket to the floor, actually climbing onto the marble counter for an even closer in depth look of what was on my bare chest. It was a faded...black gothic four? Something I'd never had nor seen before. Hell, I don't even put temporary tattoos on that area either.

Where the hell'd I get a ta-"Welcome, my newest subordinate"

Hurt. noise. Loud. light. To bright. Voices. Voices. enemy everywhere.

Its too much after centuries of living in a eternal vacuum of nothing, the void which held every sense I had exploding and returning to me too fast. I can't process it. I look at the the three people standing directly in front of me, the invaders, the ones that dethroned the original King of Hueco Mundo.

"Hmmmmm," the fox-faced one snapped his finger, "He's got quite the power level there...deserving of Cuatro even? Whatta ya say, Aizen-sama?"

"That'd be the perfect position for my latest Arrancar. Gin would you do the honors?" Aizen, or that's what they call him, said causing the other man to leap with a sort of joy.

Multiple hands sprout out the darkness and grasp me, slamming me to the ground and pinning me there as the man skips towards the back somewhere I'm unable to see. my vision going hazy for a second when my skull smacked on the floor hard, doing nothing to help the already thumping migraine I had upon awakening. Soon enough, the man returns with a tool of some sort. The tool glowing a pinkish red at the top, an audible hissing being the only sound to be heard which got louder and louder the closer it got to my pec.

"Now hold still! Wouldn't want it all crooked, right?"

"GAAH!" I clutch my chest, the burning sensation remaining despite my chest's skin being untouched. I blink owlishly towards the ceiling, the tile floor feeling cool on my sweaty back

I nearly screech as the door is knocked on.

"Ulquiorra? Are you okay?" a worried Lilynette called in

"I'm fine!" I rapidly pull the black short sleeve tee shirt and the white zip-up hoodie, which I supposed was Gin's thoughts to put a big gothic four dead center on the back, on before scrambling for the door. My mind still reeling from the fucked-up trip it just went on out of nowhere for no reason.

I take a big breath of air before opening the door, steeling myself for however long I'm stuck here and trying to put the whatever that vision was behind me.

* * *

The bathroom door opened some time later to reveal a much more comfortable looking Ulquiorra as he was no longer swamped in his clothes. The fourth now wore clothes used see everyday in the World of the Living, instead of his iconic uniform he now sported a hoodie, skinny jeans and converse. In fact the only thing similar to his former outfit would be the color scheme as it still had the white and black color scheme that all Las Noches residents wore.

I look over at Lilynette to see her face have a strange pink tinge to it while Gin had a wide smile on his face. "Gin clapped his hands and said, "Welp my work here is done, oh! Meeting called and you're to attend! Tootles!"

Gin slams the door, the mere mention of the meeting wipes the brave look from Ulquiorra's face and like most things that've gone down today, I can't blame him especially since the previous one almost killed him.

An awkward silence falls over the three of us, despite how hard I rack my brain I'm drawing an absolute blank.

"Um, yeah...i'm gonna man is a' callin'!" I can't stop myself from slapping my forehead and loudly whisper, "Stupid idiot!" before I sonido to the meeting.

* * *

I silently tap the side of my leg as the atmosphere is stuffy with tension, he was late and Aizen-sama isn't happy...well, less happy than he was since the Ulquiorra incident. The strangest thing of the situation being that not every Espada was present: the only members present being Grimmjow, Me, and supposedly Starrk.

Come on Starrk...where are you?

"Can we go? The narcoleptic fucker probably fell asleep and shit, I got other shit to be doing." Grimmjow stupidly says, voicing the wishes of most of the gang in a cruder way like usually.

The glare sent his way by Aizen is enough to make the blue haired rebel slump down and mutter a quick, "Sorry".

I better go get him. "Lord Aizen, may I go g-" my words are cut off by Starrk's sudden appearance, the lovable idiot practically bolting toward us to stand in front of Aizen.

"Sorry, SIr! Had to take care of Ulquiorra before I left for the meeting." he blurted out rapidly as he bowed down and remained bowing till Aizen indicated he could rise.

"Ahhh...with that brings me to the core purpose of this meeting. I called the three of you to go to the human world and gather up supplies for Ulquiorra-kun, Las Noches isn't equipped for a human being."

"No Shit, Sherlock" I hear Grimmjow mutter under his breath and out the corner of my eye I see Tousen reach for his sword. But Aizen raises his hand to stop him.

"Because of this, You'll be doing some extra shopping. Usually I'd leave this to Ulquiorra, making trips to the Living world for items unobtainable here. But seeing as he's indispose, You three along with Gin, whom volunteered, will do it."

"What of-""Tousen will watch over Ulquiorra, while you're out." Aizen said, cutting off Starrk's objection to his inclusion

"Now! Let's go before all the deals are taken." our Fox-faced General said before he speedily exits through the door.

Grimmjow throws his hands up in exasperation and anger before stomping his way out the door, most likely mentally flipping us all the bird.

Starrk and I quickly bow and head out, leaving Aizen to do...whatever he does a majority of the "day" in Hueco Mundo.

I wait till we get further down the hall before I breach the question:"So how's it going so far with Ulquiorra?"

"*Sigh* As well as we could ask for considering the situation he's been dropped in an unknown world. One second he's looking at us with hatred then with fear...I don't know, Harribel."

"Well...maybe you could get him something he likes, you know as a peace offering of some sort. Or just lay it all out on the table?" I can't help but cringe at how little confidence I have in my suggestions.

"Thanks Bel...I'll try that. Who knows maybe Lilynette can get through to him? She's an expert at that stuff." He quickly kisses me on the cheek before sonidoing back to his tower to get ready for the impromptu mission.

* * *

I returned to my favorite place in the entire room: my corner because I don't care whether she's a girl or I have at least 4 inches on her, I'm not taking that chance. She's got that iconic hole in her body that all the monsters have and that freakish looking helmet.

"Umm...do you want to watch tv with me?" she says pointing at the television from her seat on the couch, she luckily kept her distance from me.

"No." I say rather coldly, a little more than I meant to but who cares, they kidnapped me.

I flinch as she gets up, but instead of approaching me she tilted the tv towards me, and takes a seat on the floor still a fair distance from me, putting on weird yet funny clip show called Hueco Mundo Cup.

We watched for a while, I actually laughed out loud several times, before the door opens to reveal Starrk and the man I think I saw standing behind the throne.

Now no longer skulking in the darkness I could see the true empossing nature of this man. Unlike the others he had a long sleeveless coat over black pants, swapping sleeves for long gloves. The man had a stoic look on his face yet an authoritative no-nonsense air to him, the fact I couldn't see his eyes behind his visor. I liked the orange rope scarf thing though, if we're being completely honest.

"Um...I have to run a mission so Tousen," he gestured to the other man,"will be watching you. Okay?" Starrk says, his face showing that he realized the spontaneous shift in the mood of the room.

An awkward silence coming over the room, the only sound being the skit with Gin explaining something on a chalkboard.

"Um, Tousen could you give us a second?" Starrk says, a relieved sigh released as the intimidating man walked out the door.

Starrk got down to a knee, a serious look shone in his usually sleep-weary eyes as he looked me dead in the eye.

"*Haaahhh* Listen, I know you're scared and I can't blame you in the least. You're in an unknown land, surrounded by strangers that probably look like nothing you've ever seen. You're given every right to bolt the instance you see an opening...but, trust me when I say that would be the worst thing imaginable. Out there are the monsters you've probably seen except times a hundred in size, ability, and ferocity. Aizen, the dude sat in the throne in the briefing room, entrusted us with taking care of you or WE, the others in the meeting and I, die. We won't lose our ranks no, he'll just torture us until we ask for death and then kill us so gruesomely that we will plead to be tortured once again. Something none of us are dumb enough to risk."

"You don't have to like us, but all I ask is you trust us to keep you safe, that's all I ask. We may look different but unlike what you've probably seen before...we are part "human".

I stared at him for a long time, attempting to detect some malice or deceit in what he'd said, but there is none. Something deep in my mind, telling me he's one of the lesser dangerous one.

"...Okay…"

Both of their faces seem to light up gleefully, "Is there anything you might want from the "Human world? You know to make your time here a little easier"

impling I'm in a whole different world "Can I get a sketchbook and pencils?...If you can't, that's okay! I don't want to impose!" I squeak out quickly, remembering I shouldn't be demanding anything, not wanting to piss them off. They said I'm to be left alive, they don't have to make me comfortable.

"Gotcha! Well, I got to go...um...Tousen would rather die than disobey Aizen's order, So you're good."

* * *

Two rifts in the afternoon sky opened over Minnesota's Mall of America, as four figures stepped out to stand in the sky like it was a tiled floor.

Gin clapped his hand, gather the attention of his very disgruntled (especially one with blue-hair) subordinates.

"I've got several things I must bor-no, shoplift that I don't even need but want. And then ya'll are to get all the other stupid shit Aizen wants us to get for him and for Ulquiorra." the white haired Captain said with a trademark grin and pep in his step as he descended to the ground down a staircase of air towards the mall. Devious intentions all that was on his mind.

"Wait! We're just stealing shit? FUCK YEAH!" Grimmjow screamed to the heavens as he ran down and towards the giga-mall like a hyperactive three year-old.

Harribel and Starrk looked at each other, apprehension and exhaustion very prominent in each others eyes.

"Let's go get the groceries, I'd rather limit the amount of time Tousen has to scare the already deer-like Ulquiorra." Harribel said as she opened another rift stopping at halfway through upon seeing she was alone. "Aren't you coming?"

"Ummm, actually I just heard of something called memory foam...and wellll?" Stark's eyes avoided Harribel as he shrugged and walked backwards towards the Mall.

"Haaaaah...guessing I'll be the responsible one and make sure Ulquiorra doesn't end up starving." shaking her head she strode through the Garganta.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE…**

I can feel Tousen's gaze digging into my very soul as I lay on my side upon the couch. Yeah, I ultimately said "Fuck it. My back hurts and that couch looks soft as a cloud...plus they supposedly can't kill me." and basically collapsed upon it as Lilynette sat in front on the floor watching the more of Shinigami cup, with me dozing off around the third episode only to be nudged awake by my tiny jailer.

"Hey, wanna play videogames with me?"

"Hmm, oh...sure, though I warn you I'm not any good at it." before I can blink I have a controller in my hand and looking at the title screen for "Metal Slug Solid"

"I love this game! but, Starrk is already too tired to play or the buttons are to complex or that the sounds are too loud or the worst excuse, "this is bringing back to many memories, I've got to go. I love you and I'm sorry I failed"" Lilynette says with probably the worst imitation of Starrk that's probably been done.

"Ummm...Okay. but, like I said i probably suck and never really played any co-op games like ever…" no one really wants to be play with the Schizophrenic kid…

"Well you are now!" Lilynette presses enter and goes on explaining everything and why the game is amazing despite what Grimmjow says, and many more things that fade into the background as her words ring throughout my head, "you are now" which strangely fill me with a warm sorta feeling in my gut making the feeling of constant impending doom.

* * *

John felt really good about today as he fixed the crooked Deadpool figurine box in the pyramid of game and comic figurines before looking at the entirety of his work with pride. The games were in alphabetical order and categorized by their creators. The controllers were hung perfectly and color categorized and all the games were faced- face up and the plushies were fluffy and ready for all the hugs imaginable.

He exhaled, having finished all this after his useless highschool and college-dropout employees who did little to nothing had left. This was his store as manager and he was going to make it the best store there ever was and will be. Business would be really hot tomorrow especially since they'd just got a new shipment in with the latest and hottest products available .

"Haaah…" John was just near his car when he realized he'd forgotten his Jacket in his office. Man...guess I won't beat traffic then!

The teen released and angry huff as he returned to find a muscular blue-haired man tossing his product one by one into the center of the store, each item disappearing into thin air!

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? HOW'D YOU...WHERE'D DID YOU!? WHERE'S THAT STUPID ALARM!?" John screamed as he grasped big clumps of his hair, failing to comprehend what's going on and the destruction of his beautiful store as he stood helpless on the other side of the barred doors.

The case containing the pre-owned game cartridges and other such DS games was ripped open by what had to be done by monstrous strength, the rows of cases were in disarray with the various games as he dropped all 4 of the Nintendo Switches into whatever was taking everything else. Controllers were broken and or smashed on the floor and if they weren't they were scratched and teethed upon!

Posters and several figures were clawed and wreck with what could only be malicious intent as the man harbored some sort of hatred towards all

the boxes and wrappers of several mystery prize type items littered the floor in sizable piles as the man obviously hadn't gotten the one he'd wanted the first thirty times.

"Oh shit! You can see me?...this makes this all the more fun! Explain this to your boss" a wide grin appeared on the young man's face as he raised his hand towards the back office and released what had to be some laserbeam! Black smoke billowed out as the horrid smell that'd make the strongest noses crinkle soon filled the air.

With one last flash of a middle finger, he jumped out of existence.

John could only stand mouth agape with only thought on his mind: I'm going to lose my job...

* * *

"NOOOO! Bonus Stars are so unfair!" I yelled in Lilynette's face as I mockingly punched her in the arm.

"Bonus stars are still stars! You're just bitter! HAHAHAHA!" she laughed loudly as she watched Princess Peach do a victory dance!

"REMATCH! REMATCH NOW!"

"Fine! I'll just win again!"

* * *

Harribel disregarded the flashing of camera and the constant ooo's and ah's as she alternated between Booberries and Count Chocula,

Hmm, he did like bats but, he is very pale like a ghost and the whipping boy of the others...hmm. Guess I'll take both.

Harribel put the two cereals in the one of the two already overflowing grocery cart that were teeming with vegetables of all kinds and colors, a varieties of juices and every type of milk. About just every spice and seasoning. Meats ranging from hot dogs to deli-meats and just about every kind of bread. She basically ransacked the fruits and vegetables as well as shoveled box after box of crackers, bars and any other possible snack available. Meats of all animals and slices and cuts soon followed by boxes and boxes of rice and spaghetti.

She quickly opened a rift to Los Noches' kitchen and shoved the cart through, rolling her eyes as the gasps and schreechs of the crowd formulating around her rung out as the shopping carts disappeared into another dimension.

* * *

"What ones are better…"

Starrk felt his head start to hurt as he looked back and forth between the two sketchbooks in his hands, raising both up and down like a scale. After pillaging and sampling the various pillows, he'd remembered his initial plan for going to the mall: buying Ulquiorra's trust. He didn't want to get the wrong type and loose a chance to get Ulquiorra to buddy up to him and the situation he found himself in, given how the kid looked one step away from snapping or going into cardiac arrest. So, he'd pulled his pants up, rolled up his sleeves and made sure to go above and beyond with the request he'd been given and he'd done one heck of a job, if you asked him.

Getting him a 150 set of Prismacolor color pencils, one of every eraser in the store (who knew there were so many as they ranged from pink to white to one that felt like putty.) and pencils galore with 3 different sharpeners he felt like that Santa guy Gin had tried explaining. He'd even found a messenger bag to carry his bounty, Starrk knew he'd have to treat himself to a nap for such good work.

Screw it, I'll just go with the pricier one.

Starrk quickly chucked two hardbound sketchbooks in the already overflowing cart and just prayed he'd done well enough, as he opened a rift back to his tower.

* * *

"Ooooooooooooooo! And watch as the losers clap for Link! The Legend of Hyrule! Where are your bonus stars now!?" I gloat as I watch the end sequence of the stock match in Super Smash Bros Melee +. Which felt really good considering I'd lost 3 games of Mario Party to her...in a row.

"You only won because of that stupid bomb...it wasn't even that clutch." Lilynette seethed, continuing to glare at the t.v with the controller crunching under the pressure in her grip, "best 3 out of 5, Bat boy!"

"Lilynette, grip that controller any tighter and it'll break, and I'm not making a trip back to the Human Realm for a new one anytime soon." I look over to see Starrk holding the door open with his hip as he seemed to struggle with a cart overpacked with must've been 50 (give or take) pillows.

"Thanks Tou-"I was just making sure you're Fracción didn't kill or mortally harm the fourth. Dinner will be announced shortly. Don't be late this time."

The stoic second in command said as he left as quietly as he'd came.

"Love ya too...dick" Starrk said snidely at Tousen's retreating figure before slamming the door shut.

"Starrk! WewatchedatonofmoviesandtvandthenweplayedMarioPartybutUlquiorrasuckedSOweplayedbrawl!" Lilynette said enthusiastically as she tackled Starrk the moment he turned around.

I couldn't help but, smile as the scene reminded me of how it used to before...before…

"Hey, Ulquiorra. I got you something." Starrk said a self satisfied glint in his eyes as he flashed whatever he'd dug from his mountain of (obviously stolen) pillows.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Thankyou!thankyouthankyou!" I can't stop myself from hugging him without a second thought before I go back to delicately handling each package, as if I were to hold them wrong they'd disappear.

"Oh my GOD! I've always wanted these but they cost too much! Can I really have these?!"

His nod is all I need before I've dive in and start sketching.

Maybe this place isn't as bad as I once thought!

* * *

I can't help but hesitate to enter the meeting hall, knowing all of them would be there. The fear so bad I, without thinking, began clutching a the back of Starrk's jacket, like a toddler clutches a teddy bear.

Starrk flashed me a reassuring smile, obviously catching on to the fact I was trembling like a newborn doe before opening the door and joining the others at the table. I get a sense of déjà vu as once again I'm the center of attention and just choose to rely upon on Starrk to drag me to my seat.

"Ahhh Ulqui-kun! I knew you'd look adorable in that outfit!" Gin basically screams as several of the others laugh beneath their breaths (or quite obviously in Bluenette's actions)

"Um...thanks." I skitter to my seat, luckily someone had taken account to my supposed body change and given me a pillow to sit on.

The very second my butt touches the pillow, Aizen claps his hands. The doors opposite of the ones we entered burst open as a multitude of masked men and woman bustle in a single file, each carrying platters of all sizes. Like a hive of bees they fluttered and swarm around the table depositing platters, utensils and drinks, the speed and efficiently scary as well as impressive.

As soon as they are there, they are gone. Removing the lids on each dish and then vanishing in thin air before I can even blink. I braced myself for the possible glop I was to survive upon in a world where Humans are a exotic cuisine. Only to find it was normal spaghetti and meatballs with a salad as a side. Nothing was discolored or a strange texture from looking at it. Actually, the food smelled absolutely delicious, so much so I'm pretty sure I was drooling.

I stare at the plate in front of me, poking at the normal looking spaghetti and meatballs with salad and a slice of garlic bread with a fork. Glancing up I see everyone looking at me, the servant next to me waiting with baited breath and fearful eyes, like I was going to slaughter him if my dinner is undercooked or something equally as ridiculous.

 _Oh well...here we go._

 ***chomp***

I take a bite and nearly melt in my seat, the taste and flavor heavenly yet, even that feels like a great understatement. Everyone seemingly relaxes, like a nuclear bomb had just been defused.

"Thank you for th-" the servant has already zipped off before finishing my sentence, "okay."

Dinner contines with various conversations and banter continuing around the table while I opted to just stay quiet and just observe. Quickly making mental notes of whom to avoid and the dynamics within the group. A tiny smile growing on my face because its been so long since I've had dinner like this, even if they are strangers this feels good. When was the last time I've got to experience this?

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Starrk's nudging, a speck of worry floating in his eyes.

"As I was saying, how have you enjoyed today's event, Ulquiorra?" a voice smooth as silk says from my right.

"Huh?" I have to stop myself from spitting out what's in my mouth as I turn my head and see Aizen's dangerous gaze digging into my soul, "Oh…*chew**chew**gulp* It was great actually. Lilynette and I played a lot of video games together after watching some cartoons. Oh! Thanks Tousen for watching after us." said man promptly dismissed my appreciation, simply huffing as Gin continuous some attempt of goading the poor former lieutenant.

"I actually can't wait to spend tomorrow with Lilynette, she bet I couldn't beat her at Pikimin but she's in for a surprise. And Starrk got me art supplies! " I finish quickly so I can escape his attention.

I stop eating as I hear Aizen and Gin lightly chuckling, like I'd said something relatively funny.

A muffled "wha?" escapes, completely forgetting I have food in my mouth.

"Oh? You weren't told," my expression tipping him off," well Starrk and Lilynette will be busy tomorrow so...What have y'all decided upon?"

The table promptly quiets as all nine Espada realized Gin wasn't joking about each of them babysitting. Several awkwardly cleared their throats and shuffled in their seats.

"Um, Aizen-sama I could really take him? You know. I insist and it wouldn't...be..a bother *ahem*" Stark's voice died off as he saw the look Aizen shot him, under the table he patted my lap as to say "sorry, I tried".

I only hope the smile I flash him as an attempt of assurance doesn't display all the apprehension I felt at this sudden revelation.

"I'd like to say I'm indisposed as I've got to get to work on that cure. Speaking of which whomever gets him I'll need to run several tests and collect samples as soon as possible." Pinky said, once again acting like I'm not in the room. I'd glare at him if he wasn't already creeping me out with a psychotic gleam in his eye.

"I'll take him," Spoon man said with a menacing grin that spoke of dangerous intentions, "I'll make sure he's well taken ca-""Give him to me." a gruff voice cuts him off and his not so hidden threat.

My eyes shoot to King, his face showing him not the bit amused that he'd be stuck with me tomorrow.

"I agree! Barragan should keep him." Starrk interjected, seconding King's suggestion.

I hear angry grumbling coming from Spoonman as the others seem to relax some even letting out a sigh of relief, knowing they'd not been stuck with me, a supposed burden. I can't help but, spend the remaining time of the dinner picking at my food, not feeling hungry anymore.

 _Maybe they're just tolerating me. Starrk did say Aizen's threatening them_

 _I wanna go home..._

* * *

He's been abnormally silent since dinner…

"Ummm...so, dinner was nice, right?" I internally wince at once again how shitty I am at initiating small talk.

"...yeah, never had such tasty pasta...and stuff." Ulquiorra says after some pause, his voice back to its monotonal ways which is anything but a comfort. His hair effectively blocking a clear view of his expression however the general aura radiating off him spoke nothing of sadness.

"Hey, welcome ba- whats wrong?" Lilynette said from the couch upon our entrance obviously spotting the difference in her previously elated playmate.

"I'm fine...just tired. Sorry."

"Oh, okay...well, Gin dropped this off for you." Lilynette shot me an accusatory look like this was entirely my fault while she passed Ulquiorra the package. Ulquiorra said a muted "thank you" before slowly heading to the bathroom to change.

 ***slam***

"What the hell did you do!" Lilynette rounds on me, jabbing her finger into my stomach

"I didn't do anything! I swear I've done nothing wrong at all!" I scream/whisper back at her throwing my hands up in exasperation.

"Well, all I know is he left here calm and happy and now he looks like Ulquiorra again. Geez, for being the top soldiers yall suck at anything not dealing with fighting!"" she kicked me in the knee before stomping over to her room.

*sigh* why am I always the go to punching bag?

I hunker down on the couch, pinching my forehead and rubbing my knee.

Is it possible for someone immortal to feel so old?

"Um...where am I sleeping?" a hesitant voice comes from my right.

To my right I see...probably the definition of cute. There Ulquiorra stood with his messy black hair and big green, sorrowful eyes in black lounge pants speckled in chibi gillians and a ill-fitting green t-shirt. Top this off with bright pink socks and you've got something akin to the feeling one gets when looking at a sad, lost puppy.

"Oh! Uh, is the couch okay? I dont have another bed but I do have blankets and pillows. I hope that's okay?" I can't help but feel guilty for not stealing a whole bed from Macy's when I could've as I deposit a thick, warm comforter and several pillows.

"That's fine. Thank you...I think i'll just go to bed now. If that's okay with you?" he mumbled out as he looked at the floor, adamant in avoiding my gaze.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll be in there if you need anything at all. So, don't hesitate to ask for anything." I knock on Lilynette's door and say goodnight, hoping she'd cooled off by now, only to get complete silence from her side of the door.

"*Sigh* Goodnight Ulquiorra, have...good dreams? Or, whatever people say." a soft, "Okay." is all before I flick the lights off. As soon as I've made it to my room and out of his view, I slam my fist deep into the wall farthest from the door.

Maybe the morning will fair better results...how many years have I said that?

 _ **I can hear them talking, I know what's going to happen. I'm going to have to find a new school. I pull some leaves out of my hair simultaneously rubbing my dirt covered hands on my grass stained pants, busying myself as I sit outside the Principal's office. I don't know whether I'm madder that I'm the only one getting punished or that I didn't hurt Matthew and Andy more during the fight.**_

 _ **"...parents have complained...students hurt...school property destroyed...saying masked monsters…."**_

 _ **"No proof….please, he means well...vivid imagination….reconsider…"**_

 _ **I'm not crazy.**_

 _ **I'm not weird.**_

 _ **I'm not a liar.**_

 _ **Hissssssss….**_

 _ **I look across the hall to see the gross abomination just standing there staring at me with its black, cavernous silia and yellow pupils. Its black body and complete white face like some permanent tiki mask, and its long fingers and claws tapping on the linoleum sounded like a haunting melody. I almost feel the Lucky Charms I ate for breakfast crawl up my throat as I see the lockers clearly through the hole in its throat.**_

 _ **"GO AWAY!" I chuck my pink eraser at the creature, one of many that's followed me through the years, wrecking everything! I had worked so hard, I tried ignoring them and the other kids' stupid words. I'm not crazy! Why can't my imaginary frien-...monsters leave me alone...I want real friends! but the dumb things always show up. Wrecking things. Hurting me. Hurting others.**_

 _ **My chest starts to hurt, everything going hazy as I remember Doggy, a stray I'd found. I fed him my extra sandwich and pet him everyday, despite mom spanking and yelling at me because he liked me...or did. One of the monsters killed him...I saw it.**_

 _ **Whimpers slip through my closed mouth as I rub my snotty nose on my torn sleeve. I feel someone's hand on my shoulder, having drawn towards me because my sudden screams at the invisible creature and spontaneous sobbing.**_

 _ **"It's okay Ulqui-boy. Let's go home, okay?" worry formed in his usual happy-go-lucky green eyes**_

 _ **Dad.**_

 _ **He makes everything better, always does and always will. He scoops me up, knowing him carrying me always makes me feel better. However, before I borrow my face into his black hair I see Mom. That consistent scowl on her face. Wearing the same expression Liz had when Jared put a worm in her corn.**_

 _ **She's disgusted with me.**_

 _ **She hates me, I can see the hate in her brown eyes.**_

 _ **We walk out, only three sounds to be heard in the echoing halls. Mom's heels. My sniffles. And the scrap of hellish black claws.**_


End file.
